How Far we have Come
by Blurry-Blue-Sky
Summary: Bella's first slip up has Jasper reflecting on how far he has come and how much Alice has helped him along the way.


**How far we have Come **

Jasper was observing the students around him as he sat ignoring the food in front of him. It always amused him to watch humans and how they panicked and fretted over the most mundane things, having an insight to their emotions made it all the more humorous. For example, as he watched a boy chat animatedly to his friend it was as plain as day to Jasper the boy was in love with his companion although you perhaps didn't need his special sense to pick up on that. He turned to the occupants of his table, Rose and Emmett were staring doe eyed at each other as always, Edward was picking half heartedly at his food and Alice was sitting next to him with her head on his shoulder and her arm twined in his. He realized that there was a missing person, Bella was no where to be seen, he didn't think much of it but he could see Edward looking anxiously around for his wife. All of a sudden he felt a sharp change in the emotions of the small girl beside him, he turned to her as she sat bolt upright and gasped a look of horror on her face, her eyes glazed over as she watched the future play out. Jasper was acutely aware of Edward making a swift exit a similar change in emotion could be seen in him they were both panicked and worried. All of this had happened so quickly that Emmett and Rose barely had time to register it before they were being dragged away to follow their brother.

" Its Bella" Alice said in what was barely a whisper.

Her three companions somehow immediately understood the situation and there expressions turned hard. Alice knew there was no chance of reaching Bella in time, these things happened far too quickly and they were on the other side of the school. Sure enough as they caught up with Edward and burst into the almost empty classroom they were met with the sight of a blood soaked Bella kneeling over the still, pale body of her classmate. She looked up, pained red eyes asking her family for help. Edward shot forward and wrapped his arms around her taking her away from the scene.

"What should we do?" Emmett asked in a tone of all seriousness which was not a common occurrence from him.

"We have to hide the body" stated Jasper, his voice sounded hoarse, the blood was making his throat burn.

He felt Alice's small hand slide into his and squeeze. After much deliberation they concluded that the nearby forest was perfect, the place was rocky and uneven it made it simple to create what looked like an accident. However they needed to act quickly, before lunch was over it had to seem like nothing had happened in the classroom. After the plan was finalised Rose and Emmett took the body and disappeared through the second story window. Jasper set to work cleaning the blood away it was easy to see Bella was still quite a messy eater. The blood was hot to touch and it was making him ridiculously thirsty. The all too familiar sent made his throat ache.

"I can do that Jazz" Alice offered a worried expression gracing her perfect face " you can go if you want" as she said this she walked to him and put a hand on his shoulder where he knelt on the ground.

" A decade ago I would have taken you up on that" he said thoughtfully " but I'm actually ok, its really not so bad" he looked up at her as he realised how true that was.

He hadn't noticed it until now but despite how much he always thought he couldn't handle being around humans he had become increasingly accustomed to it over the years. He noticed with a start that the ache wasn't as bad as he remembered and his animalistic side was fighting a losing battle. Alice was smiling at him when he came out of his reverie, she leant forward and pressed a kiss to his temple.

" I have to go and call Carlisle" she said "we need to be out of here as soon as possible"

He nodded to her as she walked away. Jasper was glad he was in a science classroom, the sink and paper towels proved useful to his task. As he set to work he couldn't help but wonder how Bella was feeling, it was something he knew all to well. He continued clearing the blood away as he let his mind slip back to the past.

Jasper had only known Alice five months when he slipped up for the first, and certainly not the last, time. He was standing over the body of the man staring blankly ahead. He looked down at the brand new suit she had picked out for him, it was now spattered with red marks. Despite how many times this had happened before he had never hated himself quite so much, his self loathing was like a physical pain, like the sting of newborn teeth. Jasper took off at a run in no particular direction, he simply wanted to get away. He could not believe how pitiful his control was he was furious with himself, he was a monster. Suddenly he picked up the sound of running footsteps followed swiftly by emotions that had become beautifully familiar to him. He froze. His own hatred he could handle but hers? Jasper was unsure he could stand her disappointment however, though he was expecting it, he could pick up no such emotion. What he could sense was worry and panic. Alice emerged from the trees, he hadn't even registered he was in a forest, she danced over to him reaching up to brush his hair out of his eyes. He watched her confusion etched into his already pained expression, he did not understand why she was not angry. She touched her slender fingers to his forehead as if trying to smooth out the worry lines before moving her hand to cup his cheek. He covered her hand with his holding it in place terrified that she would turn away and leave him. He started to say how sorry he was but her free hand came up to cover his mouth.

"I'm not angry" her voice was soft and soothing " and the fact that you are so upset with yourself proves that you are not as bad as you think you are" she took her hand away from his mouth and moved to rest it over his still heart "You are not a monster even if you call yourself that because a monster wouldn't feel this much pain"

He was astonished. How he had come to be with this brilliant pixie-like vampire he would never know but he knew in that moment that he would spend every second of his existence trying to be deserving of her. Pulling her to him he wrapped his arms around her as he felt her's go around his chest, he marveled at how well they fit together and felt with absolute certainty that he was exactly where he was meant to be.

" What are you smiling about?" Alice appeared back in the classroom just as Jasper was finishing cleaning, a playful look on her face.

He simply grinned at her " I haven't missed a spot have I?"

She shook her head, the playful look gone.

" I've been keeping an eye on Bella she isn't doing so well" her voice was serious and sad.

" Well, I know how she feels" he replied as he walked over and put his arms around her "and if Edward is anything like you then she's going to be just fine, in fact she'll be more than fine"

She smiled up at him rising on her tiptoes to press a kiss to his lips.

" I don't think Edward is anything like me" she said with a smile " but it was bound to happen eventually and she will be fine, we always are"

He smiled when she said 'we' as it was true. No matter what was thrown at any of the oddly large group of immortals they always turned out just fine in the end.

Later when all the Cullen kids had been taken out of school due to a 'family emergency' the pair were sitting on the bed in their room. Alice was curled up in Jasper's lap where he sat with his back leant against the headboard.

"Have I ever thanked you?" Jasper whispered into her hair breaking the silence.

"What for?" she asked moving away slightly in order to look up at him.

" Without you I would still be living in hell" he said running his fingers through her hair " but now I'm here with my own angel"

She moved so she was kneeling with a leg either side of his lap which brought her face to face with him.

" Well in that case I have to thank you because if I hadn't seen you and known to find you then I don't know where I would be" she replied leaning her forehead against his "probably very, very lost"

He moved his hand to cup her cheek feeling her lean into his touch.

" What were you thinking about in the classroom earlier?" she asked " You were smiling a a lot which seems a bit odd considering the situation"

He twined his fingers through hers bring her hand up to press a kiss against her wrist. She smiled softly at this.

" I was just thinking that it's amazing how far we have come"

Alice leant forward and pressed her lips to his smiling against his mouth he returned the kiss wholeheartedly.

It was true, they really had come a long way, however they both knew that the most exiting part was how far they had to go.

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed it. Reviews would be appreciated. **


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